Scorned Acorns: February 2012

Been a bit lazy with my writing lately it would seem, and Scorned Acorns certainly hasn't been spared from the apathetic yawn of accepting things for what they are. So, instead of caring any longer about the intermittence of my postings (which usually consist of a few slipshod pictures courtesy Google Images and an anorexic description that probably reads more like the "shake well before opening" label on my juice box than anything of substance anyway), I feel we could all benefit from digging just a teensy bit deeper into the choleric mind of an SA author.

Without further ado, I give you:

A Picture List of Things Drawing Scorned Acorns' Ire

Although I can't imagine I would find much of anything worth pursuing in this book, it's not the agent of my irascible disposition, but more the title that grabbed me; "Things We Can't Untie". More commonly known as stubborn fucking knots. Nothing makes me more self-conscious of my chubby fingers than their inability to weasel between the unyielding bind of my manly-tightened shoelaces.

Fuck unnecessarily long receipts. The whole "What a waste of paper! Save the planet! Quit smoking!" argument aside, what is the point of half of this thing (that is to say, the Safeway receipt [not pictured above] I have strategically placed beside me). It measures 62cm (24.4in) in length. Two fucking feet! Who gives a mousefart about my 3 AIR MILES. That shits alright by me, don't get me wrong, I just don't need to see how few you are going to let trickle down through the cage of my not being able to afford a vacation.

Metric measuring tapes. Fuck. Again, don't get me wrong, I stand sword in hand beside the metric system, but life doesn't. So when I'm sitting there needing an 18 3/4in length of pvc and I pick up a metric tape, fuck that. The other half isn't doing anything anyway, throw some imperial garble on there.