Scorned Acorns explores The Underground Shelter Network for Long-Term Survival of Future Catastrophes

2012.

Has a nice ring to it. Just bleeds futuristic doesn't it. Twenty twelve.

Well, four weeks have passed in the countdown to the apocalypse (and in turn our impending demise), but honestly, not much has happened. Bottled water is, as of yet, readily available, concrete and steel aren't in waning supply (as the more level-headed folk rush to erect themselves a lasting "apocalypse-proof" living quarters), and last I checked, Crappy Tire still has a range of generators in stock. Hell, canned goods are still bobbing in and out of sale at every local supermarket. I, personally, am saving up thirty-some thousand american dollars for a spot in one of those ostentatious Vivos doomsday bunkers. Asteroid and nuke proof! Amenities include: swanky lounges, a bakery, deluxe bedrooms, dental facilities, a medical center, pet-pampering services, a fully stocked wine cellar, a Cryovault containing the reproductive cells and DNA of humans and animals for Earths re-population, and even a prison should evacuees become unruly! Couldn't imagine a better way to spend five figures.

Wait, what? They are building it in Nebraska? Fuck that I'd rather spend my post-apocalypse days haunting survivors than drinking champagne and eating fresh baked (corn) bread beneath fucking Nebraska.

I must say, Vivos really does have a compelling site. Offering protection from (but not limited to):

- Nuclear War
- Bio War
- Terrorism (Although the video left it out, the website features a nice Clipart airplane as its avatar for terrorism. Is that really the accepted representation of terrorism? Is that truly what people imagine when they see an airplane overhead? Remember the days when an airplane represented all the dreams and aspirations of youth? Eyes wide in awe as it soared above, seeming to defy all reason before disappearing behind the clouds. Wonder if kids are aspiring to be Vivos employees nowadays)
- Anarchy (Thought this said Antichrist. Was a little thrown by the anarcho-punk encircled A)
- Electromagnetic Pulse
- Solar Flares
- Pole Shift
- "Killer Comet"
- Global Tsunami
- Planet X
- Super Volcano (Volumes I through III)


I can't help but feel the last few were plucked from a long lost Harry Turtledove manuscript. And Killer Comet? Seriously? 

All things considered, I think the Hopi and Mayans were just pulling our once-oppressive legs.

-scorned

p.s. http://www.terravivos.com/