Think about it, I'm talking cro magnon here, it all started as a means to contain a little extra heat right? then for some reason the renaissance hit and everyone decided it would be better to wear someone elses hair because it was in the fashion to have some long ass white curls in order to impress each other. Come to think of it I'm not sure if it was even real human hair, it may have been some that belonged to an old horse, or fake hair made from god knows what, and it's said it was to help with the smell of bi-annual washed bodies, but still the thought makes me shiver. Then what happened? the fucking 80s.
So, now it happens that we live in the twenty first fucking century, in which the original purpose for hair seems to have dwindled since its pretty easy to find a toque these days and slap it on, and now we feel it necessary to cut it at least once a month in order to stay 'fashionable'. So, what could possibly follow all this up? Perhaps someone who could probably sell each strand of perfect hair for a cool million? well, yup, you guessed it.
Women (typically of the <12 variety) flock to this man (and to his hair) like he is destined to be the next Tom Selleck (which is one moustache this page will never disgrace). My point is that it's bullshit. And what's worse is that he knows it. He recently cut it all off. And my problem with it? I KNOW ABOUT IT. SO DOES LIKE HALF THE FUCKING WORLD. Fuck. why?
Fuck you hair.
You know what else? I just realized that bald men everywhere are in the exact opposite situation but are still freaking out about their lack of hair because they can't go get it cut once a month. Fuck.
Hair is fucking up everyones shit right now.
It's going to take over.
-Acorned
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