Scorned Acorns and Wobbly Tables

You know it bugs you, and you know you've witnessed it before. EVERY PUB. EVERY CAFE. They ALL have one, and you just happen to sit at it every time. I'm talking of course about: the wobbly table. You walk up with a full cup of coffee, place it on the table, and while you move to sit your knee gently knocks the table and the better half of your portion takes a wild ride around the table and onto your lap and onto the floor and anywhere that isn't your mouth.

When I first pondered this dilemna it hit me that it is the poor style these tables tend to be crafted in. The single peg in the middle allowing ample leg room can easily become warped through years of people spilling beverages on them, but the only real reason for a spill in the first place is a wobbly table...so how do they get there in first place? my only guess is something like this happens:

But if it doesn't...then I really can't tell you how they get this way, all I can tell you is that it bugs the fuck out of me.
BUT this isn't even exclusive to this sort of table, the standard four legged table sees this disgrace all too much.
After you realize you've been a victim to sitting at one of these tables, you do the only thing you can think of to 'fix' the situation, which is stuff a bunch of coasters or napkins or something underneath it in hopes that it will even out.

But it never does. It sits in the back of your mind for hours upon hours that it isn't quite fixed. You know deep down that the floor itself isn't uneven, its this damned table. Next thing you know, something exciting happens and you slam the table and the coasters become free and you are back with the fucking wobble.

FUCK THAT WOBBLE.

-Acorned.