Scorned Acorns vs the mustache

Ok i have to ask, what happened to the legitimacy of mustaches?
In the past, they were both stylish and respectful.
But now they have stooped to a level where only those who are willing to have their rear-ends filled by twenty other mustache-clad menzaniers can be seen as proper bearers of the haired lip.
Prime time example would be Tom Selleck:

Look at this man, his badassery clearly does not come into question when staring at this photo, like why does he have an unplugged cord-phone on the beach? His mustache answers: It does not matter.

His time however is over. The time of a mustache being a prideful display of elegance, charm, and social status is over. The only time we (the revolting youth of today of course) can wield one of these bad boys is if there is some largely accepted reason for growing one. Things like Movember is what I'm talking about here. Why should there be a reason to grow a mustache? why does it have to be referred to as a 'dirty' mustache? why can't we all be Tom Sellecks?

Think about the possibilities for accessories on top of one's look

People could stop looking boring! The comeback of the mustache¹ could very well be the emerging of a whole new version of people! HUMAN 2.0 baby!

Think about it, we could all clink glasses in the bar and sop up the remaining beer-suds off our top lips together as we chuckle to the tingling feeling the girls will soon be experiencing as they get a chance to be re-entered into the far off land of kissable sensations.

Point being:
Mustaches are never dirty or stupid. They are style! style points will be awarded to ANYONE who wears one. I mean come on, don't we know that Gunther would not have the same cult following if he didn't have his proudly on display.


-Acorned.

¹ Or is it moustache? i grew up spelling it like this but my autocorrect is claiming otherwise.