Screw you Skype, Honestly! Yesterday I was put through one of the roughest hours of my life, and its all thanks to you and your stupid product and its incapability to interact with older people. I had to sit there in my bed yesterday, unable to move due to an injury, while my grandmother, and her two cousins talked over skype on MY laptop.
Now I don't know if you have ever watched three 80 year old women talk over skype, but its not pretty. FUCK YOU. Who knew women talking through a computer from two different cities 7289.10 kilometres away could be so painful.
Let me paint you a picture.
Grandma walks in my room and demands me to put on skype so she can talk to her cousins in peru. FINE, whatever, obviously I'm not doing anything. As i tell my grandmother "Okay i'm putting skype on." She immediately starts yelling at the screen. I was so startled I almost pooped my pants. But after I clinched and composed myself i found myself yelling back.
"why are you yelling!?"
-"im not yelling im talking"
" I haven't even called them yet!?"
-"well why not?"
"because you only asked me two seconds ago!"
so after we both settled down, I went on to call her cousins in Peru. As the call was going through, My grandmother, god bless her soul starts walking away. And Just as the call goes through and is picked up, I find myself alone in my room staring a two people who I don't even know and speak spanish.
"Grandma where are you going!?"
- "my room"
"but i"m calling, they're actually on right now come back."
So there she is standing there just staring at the screen. Two other old people staring back. Who are looking extremely annoying to me.
And what do I get.
NO FUCKING DIALOGUE.
They just stare, and just as i'm about to fucking ask why no one is speaking, my grandma asks me where they are... I clinch again.
"See those two old people staring back at you, the ones now repeating hello and by the looks of it are now poking their computer screen.. yea.. thats them" (this sentence may have been exaggerated a bit. but trust me, its how I felt.
So once both parties become aware of each others existence, old people dialogue procedures followed.
1. Hello's
2. How are you's
3. How is family
4. Friendly conversation*
*By friendly conversation I mean with that its actually with themselves and that it actually doesnt sound friendly at all because they are yelling.
There I am sitting down, unable to leave my bed due to a knee injury, with three old people having three different conversation at the same time which don't even have anything to do with each other's conversations. And what made it really fun was that they were all yelling. And In my grandmothers case, due to the fact that I was between her and the computer she was actually yelling in my ear. Two fucking thumbs up for that.
The one positive about all of this (believe me I would gladly trade in this positive for my hour back) was that the entire thing happened as I was trying to come up with something to scorn about. And as I was brooding there in misery and distraction, all I could think to myself was...
"I'm never going to come up with anything now..."
-Acorned.
That was beautiful hahaha
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