Scorned Acorns is wet

I am going to begin this somewhat in opposition of SA's ultimate goal, and say I fucking love Magikarp. Anyone of differing opinion can fuck right off.

Look at that thing. Anyone who ever played Pokemon (and I mean Pokemon Red and Blue for Gameboy of course) didn't get the full gaming experience if they ignored their Old Rod, knowing full-well it would ultimately lead to their crumbling under the onslaught of Magikarp (and a few other Pokemon not worth mentioning) the rod procured.

I am sure there a good number of people out there who "toiled" with switching back and forth between The Splashmaster and Charizard solely for xp purposes, and Magikarps eventual evolution into Gyarados. Fuck Gyarados and fuck those people.

Check out those barbels (moustache). I wonder if they mention Magikarps size being relative to the body of water it mosey's around in? According to Bulbapedia, the leading source for anything Pokemon related, Magikarps special abilities are as follows:

"Long-lived Magikarp are able to utilize their immense splashing power to leap high enough to jump mountains. Magikarp also have a strong enough immune system to survive in the most polluted of waters."

Fuck yes.Compare that to the special abilities of its shitty successor:

"Gyarados, like most dragon-like Pokémon, has a high Attack stat, causing it to rely more on physical attacks than special ones. It is one of the few Water-types able to wield both Fire-type andElectric-type attacks. Its fangs can crush stones and its scales are harder than steel."

Sounds like they made that shit up. I bet Gyarados isn't even real.

-acorned

Sidenote: I have been dubbed pretentious for liking Magikarp