Scorned Acorns on Teddy Bears

They are cute,
They are cuddly,
And some may say they have no place on a site such as this.
But here they are by popular demand:

Teddy Bears.

Now personally I have nothing against Teddy Bears as a whole, in fact i still have mine lying on the couch in my room. What i do have beef with is people who seem to not fully understand what a 'teddy bear' is. I am here to set things straight once and for all. 

You'll all thank me when your kid goes over to their friend's house and their friend shows them their favorite 'teddy bear' and your kid doesn't roll their eyes in disgust of the mistreatment of the world and grow up to be some kind of loner blogger type of asshole.

People of the world:

THIS IS NOT A TEDDY BEAR

All my life I've been plagued by people besmirching the beautiful art of the teddy bear. Be it a six year old cousin or a twenty four year old love interest its always the same. 

"Can i show you my favorite teddy bear?"

 "Yeah sure, whatever."

"Well, where is it?"

"This is it."

*facepalm*

This shit is a STUFFED ANIMAL. My Winnie the pooh bear takes a hit of shame every time some worthless piece of plush is brandished with the title he shares with many other memorable characters such as the marmalade guzzling paddington bear:

fuck that is one bad-ass bear.

Now i know both apes and walruses are in fact part of the animal kingdom we all refer to as "the shit", the reason i used them as examples were the fact that i couldn't stand looking at any of the other pictures of 'teddy bears' i could find out there in the beautiful world of google's search engine.

So basically, teach your kids to know it. They have a stuffed animal. Not. A teddy fucking bear. They are below the bear on the sewing food chain.

Its on plushies.
Its on.

-Acorned.