Seriously. If you aren't going to make it a realistic walking distance from one side of a "world" to the other (thank fucking god..) why give a fourty floor office tower fourty fucking flights of stairs? Even going so far as to include a turn at the midway point of each flight. I think the best example of this is seen in Final Fantasy VII, when you arrive at Shinra HQ. Now, granted, you have the option of an elevator, but who doesn't invoke their sense of adventure every now and again, and opt for a leisurely stroll. Fuck. This game shattered any semblance of gaming patience I may once have had. Any anticipation as to what awaits you on the upper floors is effectively drowned by the monotony of seventy wide concentric circles. They need a fucking warning when you enter. And not some scroll off to the side on the wall you will probably ignore. No. Bolded text that covers a good portion of the screen and lingers for five to ten seconds, flashing. It's only fair. I would go back, do it again, and count how many flights there really are... but that is a terrible idea and I say fuck it. Oh! Wait, I forgot. You get an elixir about halfway up... Around about the time you are smack in the middle of trying to decide whether you should just cut your losses, turn around and take the elevator, abandoning the last fifteen minutes of your life. A matter of shoulda, coulda, woulda that will long outlive the staircase climb, likely persisting late into your twenties. Fuck the elixir.
I still feel like I am understating how truly exhausting an experience this really was. Imagine a casual traipse about the stairs in Inception. Necessary? Fuck that. Should have taken the fucking elevator.
Umschreibung. Okay, that staircase could be a fun frolic.
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