Scorned Acorns and what 'Nuts' has become.

Nuts has began to bug me. We're talking about the word here. It means way too many things now and refers to way too many completely unrelated subjects. This word needs to be dropped from the Oxford Dictionary or the Scrabble Word List.
"Nuts" themselves, are GREAT! like really, pecans, fuhghettaboutit! Actually, before i can properly acorn this subject let's take a quick look at how great nuts can be.

But wait, we have to start already, because i just realized something dangerous.

Fact: "Nuts" are fantastic. But let's just have a quick second to look at what exactly a nut can be. On this "nut platter" i see peanuts, cashews, pecans, and M&M's?!? When did they make the cut to be called a nut.

Well, they aren't.

and we all know that now don't we.

So, Why are they here on this platter of nuts?

could this be why it says on the package "may contain traces of nuts"?

Do M&M's require a certain 'marinade' of nutty goodness?

Or do they just complement the surrounding nuts with their junior high mesh of colour amongst a properly salted crew?

Actually come to think of it, after that list of different nuts I see in that picture, I just realized something that could be extremely frustrating. If someone were to come up to you and offer you some 'nuts' you really cannot properly prepare yourself for the handful soon to follow, and if you are the kind of guy who expects M&M's or raisins to be considered in the offering of 'nuts' then for all you really know you may be about to receive a handful of sunflower seeds or something.

So, lets recap:

Meaning #1: The nut as a salty and delicious snackable treat which sometimes is trapped within a hard shell that needs to be (enjoyably) opened via nutcracker.

Moving on, we have the 'nut' from the fabulous carpenter's accessories manual: A small block of metal or wood with a central, threaded hole that is designed to fit around and secure a bolt or screw.

guess what, we even call them 'acorn nuts'.
These bad boys are just straight up annoying because they are for the point in a project where you have to reach to the back of whatever you're building and secure your screws, but the damned things will without fail slip out of your hands or become stripped or just barely not fit properly and the whole project can fall apart in a second.
Or how about the nut as in the insane?
These can also be referred to as a 'nut case' in some wild circumstances. Fuck. I am so happy we are finally about to get a picture like this up on here:

Yes ladies and gentlemen,  Steve Martin here portraying a nut, in a movie called mixed nuts. Oh this must be absolute comedy gold. Fuck i hate that guy and what he did to the pink panther. The only respect he deserves is for planes trains and automobiles but i still believe that would have been better with anybody else.

If I were to be talking to a psychiatric doctor and he was to ask me the question: "Would you like to see my nuts?" The question could be taken way too many ways and my brain and the hope for mankind itself that it holds would be blown away in milliseconds.
Wait, is that a reference to yet another nut? yes! of course! THE TESTICLE. apparently these are also called the 'nuts' so how else are you supposed to take it?
We need more examples.
"As he turned the nut, the nut was hit in the nuts by a barrage of nuts."
Fuck this is way to confusing. WHY didn't they just come up with more words? why must we repurpose old ones again and again? God damn this annoys me.

Another thing on nuts,
Those damned things people hang out from behind their trucks, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. They are grotesque, inconsiderate, and just straight up ugly. When I see someone with them hanging off the back of their truck I will in fact make note of what the driver looks like as that I can describe him later to anyone willing to listen to my soapbox rants in great detail and let everyone know just how big of a turd this guy truly is.

My blood is already boiling. Can you not automatically tell that this man is in fact a giant douche. Holy shit he is a testament to the fall of mankind, this is the reason we can't have nice things and THIS is the reason alcoholic women exist, they have to deal with this shit as mating partners.

Fucking

-Acorned.