Alright this is the essence of why this blog had to be made. People like this guy need to receive their comeuppance as pronto as possible. In this case pronto being finding a picture of themselves on the internet hidden within the confines of a blog disguised as a squirrel lover's habitat control group readings website.
At first glimpse I cannot help but notice an uncanny resemblance to this house elf from harry potter1 but seriously, if Kreature and Hoggle happened to have a kid, this is what he would turn out like.
Dreams of hitchhiking his way up to Alaska to be an even bigger mooch on the surrounding climate there, or 'living off the land' as dicks as big as he would refer to it as, fill up most of -we'll call him- Sylvester Stallone's mind. The remainder of what limited brain power is left is filled with fairies and unicorns, Stallone fancies himself some sort of -shiver- poet. You practically have to spit the word out. 21st Century poetry basically falls into the same category as the mime and electrical engineer. He takes pride in his odes and bardic vocal chords as he sings such lyrics as:
Jake The Snake
(jake the snake)
Totally A Snake
(totes a snake)
Wait He's A Dog
He Has
Legs.
Yes.
That is the whole song.
Poetic no?
This is the kind of guy who wears his facial hair longer than the hair atop his head to hide the fact that he is prematurely balding, and explains it as a purposed-look. Yeah, sure, Its clear that you really spend a lot of time making that 'look' work in the morning, I'm sure it involves something like:
- Roll out of bed naked
- Think about where he has to go that day, be it the shopping mall, work, school, or wedding
- Pull pajama pants out of laundry basket and put them on
- Take black band shirt off floor
- Apply deodorant to inside of shirt's armpits
- Put on shirt
- Go out in public claiming you are 'comfortable'
one word for Sylvester Stallone:
Ugh.
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