I did it. I sat down and watched the movie Splice.
Fuck.
I have absolutely nothing to say about it besides:
A) Do not watch it. Its roughly equivalent to when you have a craving for something but you can't put your finger on it and you keep checking the fridge every few minutes hoping something new and magical has appeared in there, only to be shot down in utter disappointment each time.
B) Adrien Brody has some passionate sex with the creature1. Really, if you are planning to watch you might as well just skip ahead to this scene. It's actually really fucked up if you think about it. Whatever happened to Angels in the Outfield Adrien?
C) When the thing is first born(?), I fuckin' wanted it. It looked like a goofy, awkward, hairless wallaby/turtle crossover (or splice! fuck yeah! see what I did there?). Not for long though folks.
D) Finally, there are these slug-like creatures that are supposed to be bioscience's Romeo and Juliet. Instead they shred each other apart in an epic bloodbath. Highlight? Naw, still doesn't top the 'Adrien fucks an alien' headline potential.
Had more to say than I thought, all easily summed up as fuck this movie. Besides the creature muffin buttering. I wonder what that has to say about me.
-acorned
1. He tries to rationalize it by saying his wife used her DNA in the thing, which she did, but who gives a fuck. He fucked the thing. It had a tail. A bad-ass fuckin' tail actually, but a tail nonetheless. And it vocalized through those alienesque clicking noises. Based on those two facts, however human in appearance, not okay to bone. It looked like a chicken fucked a fish, who in turn laid pipe in Hilary Swank (which in and of itself is bad enough).
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