Scorned Acorns and the moon's lack of bad-assery

What the fuck is up with the moon phases. Honestly who thought this shit up. New moon, full moon, waxing shit, waning shit, honestly holy shit how many of these do we need???

Then, once you think its done, theres the special-names we start with

Harvest moon

Blue moon

Holy shit! my belt buckle can hardly handle the build-up inside me on this shit. Then we start making up stories that apparently have some heavy ties to the moon.

Fucking Wolfmen and shit

Fucking lunar landings.

LIKE REALLY, MORE THAN HALF THE TIME YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS SHIT? WHAT MAKES IT SO GREAT

hey man, you like dirt?

yeah i guess

you like craters

they are kinda neat

you like dark sides?

well only for like 20 years

FUCK MAN YOU GOTTA CHECK OUT THIS MOON SHIT!

wow, that truly is quite the sight.

while we are at it we might as well start blaming the moon on things such as the tide and hurricanes, start naming video games after it, writing shitty books about creatures of the night that come out just to kiss little girls in high schools. Fuck might as well be 12s. (ill get to 12s later)

So pretty much heres the deal.

Stop pointing at the moon and saying 'wow it looks pretty tonight'. 

Listen, that shit is the same all the fucking time

and you only notice it once and a while because it has finally appeared out from behind the fucking clouds.

Gross.

I think the only person who thought of the moon correctly was chairface from the Tick animated series, carve his name in that shit. at least it would be something different.

the moon is old. 

Get over it

-Acorned.