Everywhere i go i see people wearing hats.
And they aren't even crazy neat hats either. It's always that type of hat that you can tell hasn't been washed since last winter and was found underneath an old bag or something accompanied by a line such as "I've been wondering where that was." which preceded the immediate trying on of the hat, which preceded the leaving the house under the watching eye of what I have been referring to as "that hat"
The problem is that cool hats such as this one:
cannot be worn about in regular society without the presumption that the wearer is 'making a statement'
I'm not trying to make a fucking statement here people, its just a cool hat!
Actually you know what, I am making a statement by wearing this hat. It's that the rest of you are not wearing nearly cool enough hats! I'm not talking about a pineapple fruit hat or anything obviously ridiculous like that, but look at this shit!
I can see this type of girl getting ready to go out for a night at the local art gallery or club or something that kids do for fun on nights such as tonight and calling each other up ( or worse, bbming) to say 'hey! im wearing a hat tonight, its black and im wearing gray, you should totally wear gray with a black hat! our lack of hues and definitions of shade will make us stand out in the pitch black of a foggy night!
Ok wait a second and bring your thoughts back up to camo-girl up there. upon a little internet sleuthing of mine i have discovered the pictures caption to be 'Britney's not a very good investor.' which clears things up nicely. It is obvious that i am not the first to notice this kind of shit and its total lack of coolness. And people, we need to stop this before everyone is bald.
That's right, i said it. Hats cause baldness.
-Acorned.
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